The Twilight Saga: IE Version
by XxNeONxX
Summary: Title says it all. PARODY. Don't like. Don't read.


The Twilight saga: IE version.

Isabella sue is a girl. She has horrible hair, terrible sense of humor and keeps biting her lip for her incredibly fragile brain cannot handle the stress of putting her horrifying obsession with a sparkly bloodsucking leech… I mean Soccer pro into words understandable to normal humans, vampires or werewolves.

HP cast: And _wizards_!

Yes, wizarding folk too.

So Bella sue went to live in a boring town, filled with boring people and where people think rain is boring.

Audience: Boo!

Very well, So Bella sue joins the local public school for her father whom she hates cannot afford to send her to a private one. This school, as Bella sue finds out, is full of headless semi-hot guys falling head over heals for her which agonizes her and leaves her in a peril of whom to choose until…

Entry: Gouenji Sparkle.

_Sunlight reflects off his dead pale skin and shoots rainbows everywhere._

Audience: ohh…_rainbows_!

Bella sue: who is that?

Haruna: That is Gouenji Sparkle; he's gorgeous, obviously-

Bella sue: *Hits Haruna with a baseball bat* he's mine bitch! MINE!

Woops, rating just changed for extensive cursing.

Gouenji : *sickly sweet and velvety voice* Hello, you must be Bella Sue, I'm Gouenji Sparkle, I'm a rich, spoilt two hundred year old vampire with super Gary Stu powers and awesomeness who believes he rules the world. We shouldn't be friends.

And then he disappears into a puff of smoke which is as yet an unexplained phenomenon for Sparkle boy is supposed to be mysterious.

But then the two of them discover their super human, baffling, over the stars love and are in a relationship which is so sickly with unhealthy passion and a thirst for blood on Gouenji's behalf which puts 90 percent of the world's vampire population into depression.

All is well until…

Entry: Someoka Tracy

Is a tracker who seems to be mentally challenged for he develops an unsettling urge to kill Bella sue her being the awesome human she is.

And so Sparkle boy and his gang finish off this tracker for Bella's sake while she lies on the floor and lets her sparkly boyfriend do all the work.

And then everyone has a party for no reason whatsoever and all is well until…

Enter: Hiroto Jazzy.

Is Sparkle boy's adopted brother who finally sees sense in his vampire instincts and tries to kill Bella sue.

You must realize, reader, that most people have a tendency to try and kill Bella sue and her crazy sparkling boyfriend has to save her ass.

Which he does too, only to realize that Bella sue is a freaking trouble magnet and decides to leave her for her own good.

And so Bella sue gets dumped by her sparkly boyfriend like a worthless bag of blood and bones. Therefore, Bella sue, being the emotional whimp she is, curls up into a ball and spends her days dreaming of a certain sparkly boy, often waking up screaming and poor boring town cannot sleep for days.

And so it goes until…

Enter: Shirou Black

For the fear of dropping ratings and rotten tomatoes and eggs, there hops in our beloved wolf boy whose sole aim in the whole series is walking around without a shirt, causing fainting of fan girls a and a whole lot of catfights, saving the entire cast and crew from humiliation.

But does Bella sue appreciate her savior?

Hell no.

Audience: Boo!

What she does do is jump of a cliff and sparkle boy realizes his mistake and comes back and saves her, as usual.

And all is well until…

Enter: Natsumi Red.

Who is the hot red-haired girlfriend of the now dead Someoka Jazzy, which I fear you must have forgotten till now, not that he matters much.

And so Sparkle boy saves her ass, _again_.

Bella sue dumps the wolf boy, who runs off and is never seen again.

And marries Sparkle boy who sparkles throughout the wedding and turns her into a vampire too, and they are about to live their happily ever after but…

A psycho fanfic writer who despises pretty much everything kills them both and the rest of the sane world lives happily ever after.

Wow, that pretty much sucked.

*spots angry crowd with flaming torches approaching and disappears*


End file.
